Hi All

Here is another journal entry. Just a reminder I am still not up to current date with my journal. I hope by end of this week I will have all my entries typed into the blog. If anyone is confused, pls feel free to ask any questions. To ask questions or leave comments...click on the comment section and if you don't have a blogger account you can just click on anonymous.

September 25th, 2009

Wow…What a long and emotional three days. We have now completed our three day seminar!!! With this behind us we can now proceed with immigration and our home study process. The three days was packed with information about the adoption process, parenting techniques, and we had the opportunity to speak with numerous adoptive parents and birth moms.

When we first even considered adoption we always thought we would adopt from the country furthest away from Canada, as wanted to be as far away as possible from the birth parents, as the thought of an open adoption was scary. The thoughts of; would my child grow up and ditch us for the “cooler” birth parents, would they come one day in night at snatch our child, would they want a say in the way we parent this child, mostly would my child grow to love them more than myself, all these beliefs haunted me… Do I still have these fears, of course, and I think these thoughts always linger in the mind of an adoptive parent, BUT will I allow these this personal fears to stand in the way of the betterment of my child…NO WAY. One thing the seminar has taught me is the importance of openness in an adoption, and the importance of an adoptive child having someone to identify with. I now understand that when this child is placed in my arms at 48 hours old their life had began far before this time. This child has a history and who I am to take that away from them. I understand that my child will always have questions and If I am not able to answer them, it will make the process much more difficult. I want them to know who they look like, I want them to know where they get their athletic ability from, or who they got their sense of rhythm from because it defiantly isn’t marc and I. I want whats best for my child, I want them to love themselves and how can they do that if they don’t know who they are. Ultimately I want to raise a child that never questions the love we have for them and are secure in their identity within our family and I now know that comes from having a somewhat open relationship with the individuals who gave me the best gift on earth!!

So other than all the great info we were given, the end of the seminar was a bit deflating. Majority of our paperwork could not be completed until we had finished the three day seminar. So, we were so excited at end of the third day when we could hand in all the paperwork! We ensured all was done wasting no time, not even one day. So we both proudly walked over to Joan the agency administrator and handed our manila envelope, she congratulated us, patted us on the back and handed us another manila envelope filled with more forms to be completed…just when we thought the paper work was complete it had actually just begun!

But my child we are one step closer to meeting you. I went out shopping this afternoon, and just in case you are a little girl I bought you the cutest little bathing suit.

Next step… more forms!


PS...As I re-read the post I want to emphasise that our desire to have a semi-open adoption is our ideal... but understand that this is not always a possibility. We have numerous friends and family who have adopted, who have not had the opportunity to meet the birth parent... I do not believe under any circumstances that the children are worse of, but instead I give credit to their adoptive families who would have worked extra hard at working through the adoptive process with their children.